My husband does the dishes now.
Let's just take a moment to BASK in the GRAVITY of that statement:
And it didn't take years to make it happen.
Well, I mean let's be honest -- obviously I tried for *TEN YEARS* to GET HIM to do the dishes.
But that shit definitely DID NOT work, and he clearly had no intention of trying.
Which is why when I recently changed ONE THING and it led my husband to do the dishes SIX TIMES in ONE WEEK (gasp!!!🤯) I realized something...
I HAVE ACHIEVED ENLIGHTENMENT!!
HA 🤣 just kidding -- what I actually discovered was this:
I made the ENTIRE PROCESS way harder than it had to be, and I was torturing myself for NO REASON.
Once I realized what I did, it occurred to me that I could apply this EXACT same process to my online business...
And suddenly things feel LIGHTER and EASIER.
✅ Sales are happening with less work. (Meaning I can worry LESS!)
✅ I ENJOY my day-to-day, and I look forward to work (even though just a few months ago, I felt like work was a BURDEN).
✅ I want to try MORE each day because I feel VERY RELAXED (I'm relaxed 80% of the time...Neurotic about 20% of the time, which is outright MIRACULOUS!!)
So what is this magic you speak of???
It's actually SO SIMPLE you might be angry about it.
I know I was pretty DAMN UPSET when I realized how many years I wasted worrying about dishes...
Here's the scoop:
I USED to focus on the NEGATIVE bits.
You're probably like -- um, who DOESN'T!!!!
...There's negative everywhere and it's literally IMPOSSIBLE to miss!
Take this example:
I come home, and the dishes are put away, but they're ALL in the WRONG PLACE. (All the GrRRRRrrr!!)
And I have to re-do it (because OCD is REAL!!) and then I say to the hubs, "you put the dishes away in the wrong place, so I had to fix it. Let me show you where they ACTUALLY GO"...
Which honestly, sounds HORRIBLE (and makes me look like a terrible person).
BUT I haven't met a single person who doesn't do this with SOMETHING in their life. (We'll look at an Etsy example in a minute...)
But before we do, let's be real -- NO HUMAN wants to come home from a long day at work just to hear, "you did this chore but you suck at it, so please watch this long, sarcastic tutorial about how to do it RIGHT..."
So recently, when I found the dishes in the dishwasher (but still not put away)
I decided to do something completely different:
Yes, I flipped that shit. ⬆️
I decided that putting ONE dish away was better than my usual sink full.
Since my husband DID THE WORK of making that happen, I opted to give him the credit.
At the time, I felt like I was laying it on THICK. I felt like I was going TOO FAR and he would think I was mocking him.
But I really WAS happy that I didn't have to put any dishes away.
So I gave him (what I felt was) WAY TOO much credit for a tiny thing...
Then something strange happened: He did the dishes AGAIN the next day. (WUT...???)
So I decided to take the experiment a step further...
For one week, instead of focusing on all the things I HAD TO DO...
I went OUT of my way to NOTICE all the things he was doing.
Then I told him WHY they made me happy. ⇣ ⇣
✅ Instead of putting his dirty dish in the sink, he put it straight into the dishwasher. (F*CK YES!!) I told him EXACTLY how happy I was about that shit.
✅ One day, he noticed my laundry and he dropped it inside the washer for me. (Why YES -- I do like seeing floors with no clothes on them, and I was MORE than happy to tell him how awesome he was!)
✅ He always gets me a glass of water before bed, and so I tried to make sure the last thing I said before falling asleep was "thank you for bringing me water!"
✅ I made it a point to text him a 3x / week about things he did that make me HAPPY. These are small things (like how he takes out the trash when I ask).
And then he made that WEIRD transformer noise and turned into the WORLD'S BEST HUSBAND overnight.
I'm not kidding.
I haven't done the dishes in a week. He's doing EVERY SINGLE STEP FOR ME!!
He also did my laundry for me on Saturday...then he took one look at our laundry room, decided I needed shelves up in there, and he BUILT SHELVES from SCRATCH and hung them up...
All in one day, without any NAGGING from me!!
F*CKING HELL. I'm speechless.
If I had known it was this simple, I would be eating grapes while being fanned with a palm leaf right about now. ⇣ ⇣
Here's the BONUS: I've been SO busy noticing all the stuff he does, that my brain FORGOT to notice all the things I have to do.
It's hard to get your brain to do a NEW thing...
Noticing good things takes up so much "mental load" for me, that my brain has no time to COMPLAIN about shit I SHOULD be doing!!
I no longer hear a chorus of "you should be cleaning the house", or "why does he get to TELL you he took out the trash? You do chores every single DAY and no one gives you any credit!"
Those voices are GONE.
And having this much QUIET in my head made me realize: THOSE VOICES are BAD FOR YOU.
Listening to them just leads to MORE problems.
Now, every time I hear a little voice picking on me, I fight back.
So if my brain says, "why aren't you cleaning that right now?"
I fire back with, "Hey, no one cares what you think. I'm too busy doing FUN stuff like sitting with the cats, texting my friends, and cooking something NEW for dinner. YOU clean the house, brain, while I SIT HERE and get the break I DESERVE".
DAYUM. That shit is SO satisfying.
It's literally like yelling at the WORST BOSS you've ever had.
You get to tell them to SHOVE IT, and since it's your brain that you're talking to, you'll never get fired for it!!
So what does this have to do with YOUR BIZ??
Like I said earlier: I haven't met a single person who doesn't FOCUS ON THE NEGATIVE somewhere in their life.
It might not be your OCD dish problem, but it may be something else. Here's a REALLY COMMON Etsy version ⇣
Those customers who literally do NONE of the work and blame you for everything...We've ALL been through it and it's GROSS AF.
To our seller above, I wish I was there to give you the HUG that you deserve for going through this!!
What our poor seller is going through here is called "COMPOUNDING".
Basically, one BAD THING (that's out of her control) happened, and now she's noticing ALL THE BAD in her life at ONCE.
Notice how she started her sentence: "Not only does my day job suck..."
We all do this: It happens when something doesn't go how we expect.
And suddenly, as if by MAGIC, our brain procures a LIST of all the things that SUCK RIGHT NOW.
And we probably weren't even THINKING about those things before...but NOW they suddenly feel FRONT and CENTER.
You can't get all the ICK out of your head.
You might not be able to control what happens to you, but you CAN control whether it makes you miserable.
I can literally look through your texts, and tell immediately if your brain is picking on you all the time.
There are SIGNS. ⇣ ⇣ ⇣
☑️ If you always find yourself complaining about SOMETHING -- or if you feel like that's the only way to have a conversation with some of your friends (or family)...
☑️ If you can't seem to nail down that feeling of "happy", even though you've had it before...
☑️ If you RARELY have a job you like, and you always want to try something new, but that new thing doesn't keep you happy very long...
☑️ If you look around and you have things you always wanted (a house, family, hobby...) but those things don't make you happy like you thought they would...
If you have just ONE of these ⇡, then your brain is in a state of CONSTANTLY picking on you.
And unfortunately, as much as it hurts me to say this: No one can control your brain BUT YOU.
So sadly, getting into a state like this is *kinda your fault*.
There's really no one else to blame here.
BUT -- good news:
You let your brain get INTO this place.
So YOU can get it OUT of this place, too!
You can ALWAYS stop and say, "NO BRAIN, NOT TODAY!!"
Remember my example, where my brain told me to clean the house???
And I basically told it to F*CK OFF because I deserve a break?
That's seriously ALL it TAKES.
You can do a simple SWITCH from noticing the NEGATIVE to just being grateful.
Just like I did with my husband. And now, ONE WEEK later, I live with a DISH-DOING MACHINE!
Take the all-too common example of a 1-star review on Etsy.
Let's flip it.
Yes, you got a 1-star review on Etsy. BUT:
✅ You get to sit at home and get PAID to make stuff!! You can make $$ while you sleep.
✅ You are braver than 95% of people...They always say they WANT to sell stuff online, but they never do anything about it. They just complain about their lives and take NO action (you know the ones I'm talking about!!) -- You did something only 5% of people are capable of!!!
✅ What did you do this morning? I bet it wasn't begging for change out on the street, in the rain! Remember those wonderful moments in your life. You live in a WARM house. You made yourself a nice cup of coffee (or tea!) this morning. You have everything you NEED right now.
✅ Read your POSITIVE reviews!! We always give SO MUCH attention to a single 1-star review. What about ALL THE 5-star reviews you have?? Take screenshots of them. Put them in a folder. Look at them once a WEEK!! (Seriously, you will be the world's happiest human in just a MONTH if you do this!)
This is called Gratitude and it will make your online business feel LIGHT and FUN every day...
If you are ROLLING your eyes right now, then hello: you are ME a year ago.
I get you -- and I am fully aware of exactly how TACKY this shit FEELS.
But YOU -- the person who's rolling their eyes?? You need this MORE than ANYONE else here.
For all my little eye-rolling soul mates 🙄🙄🙄, let me tell you this:
I refused to do this "gratitude crap" for a long time.
Meanwhile, I was TIRED, my marriage wasn't doing great, and I couldn't find ANY type of happiness even though I made LOTS of MONEY and had everything I WANTED.
None of that shit mattered AT ALL.
You might THINK that you'll be happy if you had more money...
But if you can't be happy the way you are NOW, then money will just make you RICH and (still) UNHAPPY.
Money does not REMOVE obstacles to happiness.
It actually gives you NEW obstacles that might feel even scarier than the ones you're used to (!!!)
If you can't find baseline happiness in EVERY situation, then money won't do jack shit for you.
STUFF won't make you happy. It's not positive or negative. It's just a lifeless object that sits there and does nothing.
MONEY is just paper. It doesn't DO anything. Your brain is the thing that's giving it power.
THOUGHTS can be positive or negative.
And if you think mostly negative thoughts, you'll always be miserable.
Same works for happy thoughts -- Make an EFFORT to think happy more often, and suddenly you'll start waking up happy.
If you wanna getting that light, happy feeling from working on Etsy...
Then you need to TAKE BACK CONTROL. ⬇️
Decide where you want to GO – pick a single GOAL – and focus on that.
Everything else doesn't matter if you are focusing on what you WANT (and making it happen – no matter how slow. Progress is progress).
The first step I took in my "happy on Etsy" journey? I got organized so I would stop feeling like I had no control. ⬇️
Wanna Try an Etsy Planner to Get Organized?
If you're ready to start USING all the scheduling tactics I just covered ⬆️, but you have NO idea where to start...
Or how to make it work in YOUR specific case...
Then meet the Etsy PLANNER. ⬇️
Does your idea of heaven consist of a perfectly organized shop complete with worksheets, planners, and business growth exercises?
Guess what: I won’t judge you for being OCD organized. In fact, every time I made an effort to organize my business, the better it did!
I created the Etsy Productivity Planner based on all the regular work I do for my shop each week. These methods took me from a few dollars a week to a 6-figure business in less than a year:
See how it works right here 😊